Cisgender heterosexual white folks, this one is for you. I wake up like so many others knowing I’ll be misgendered and I can’t even wear what I want because our culture bitches about clothes like they are the one with this fake thing called gender. You make me sick not all of you but most and when it comes down to it you sit on piles of privilege miles high and you don’t even realize it. So many of you have the privilege to help but you don’t because you don’t agree with this “life style” and can’t stand change. I can’t stand you.
If you are so blind to seeing your privilege then you have way to much privilege because that is a privilege in and of itself. It’s a privilege to live in a house, it’s a privilege to own a car, it’s a privilege to stay off the street every night, it’s a privilege to have parents that actually fucking try and some what care, and it’s a privilege to have a job. So many people are blind to these facts. We see it all the time, missionaries going and taking selfies with the brown baby in the village that is infested by raw sewage and bed bugs then coming home to a nice warm bed and a comfortable house like nothing happened. Or the missionaries going to the projects in New Orleans to play with the black kids in a orderly fashion only spending maybe 3 hours with them. Causing them trauma and neglect that they didn’t need.
What I am trying to get at is this, today millions of queers woke up more afraid than normal knowing that the Supreme Court is having hearings deciding weather or not you can get fired for being lgbtqia+. It is just like last October all over again and I just want it to end. I don’t want a conservative in office anymore, I don’t want to hear you are pro-life, i don’t want to hear about guns, I don’t want to have to exhaust myself advocating for BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS, and I sure as fuck don’t want to hear you disagree with my “life style.” You are just too petty to embrace the change and you are scared to let loose because of massive constructs YOU have made. The narrative is changing weather you like it or not, so saddle up because I am not done using my voice yet.
I never would of thought I would see the day where Satanist’s are more “Christian” than the self proclaiming Christians. As a mijiority (not all) but most Christians act like the Satan they talked about being evil while I was growing up. They freak out about immigrants and they say I’m going to hell because I am different. All without acknowledging that this God they love so much is supposedly huge and loves all people. ALL PEOPLE! WHOAH what? Say it ain’t so.
Bitch, it is so and either way if there is a God or not loving other humans is the decent and right thing to do. Wanting to see people suffer is cruel and not what this life is about. Evangelicals talk about community like it is some upper level accomplishment but at the end of the day have no fucking idea what community even is.
My definition of community is the thing I get to do every day. Having 5 meetings about the same thing while being spiritually abused is NOT community. Allowing husbands to talk down to their wives and get away with it is not community. Also, being told that you and your wife have never had a fight is a bull faced lie you just talked her way down so she would “submit.”
Back to my first thought about Satanist’s being more “Christian” than the self proclaiming Christians, Satanist’s understand that no person is under equality and no person is less than. Unless they are nazis, nazis don’t deserve the time of day. You don’t get to watch minorities suffer and laugh at their distress that is not “Christian” at all. The “Christian” I was taught anyway. Satanism is a religion and still set up like a religion I’ll never join it I’ll never dig deep into it because I’m done being a part of a cult.
The value for people’s lives is way more important to me than any religion or God I could follow. People living their best lives is important and you can’t do that inside a religion. Being a nazi means you fucked up and don’t deserve the time of day I would give a minority. Your president is the biggest racist and bigot on the planet and supporting him means you are hurting me. The way I see it it’s either trump or truth and folks living truth is so much more powerful than an evil man. Open those little eyes and start to pay attention. If God is real they are just as practical as they are spiritual. Thoughts and prayers are NOT enough and you fucking know it.
I know I probably ruffled some feathers which was the plan. Im not sorry about my presentation or even what I said because its what I believe it’s how I live and after watching the last few years in America I’m tired and angry and still don’t understand why evangelicals still follow this vile diabolical human who isn’t even human in my opinion.
My art after coming out has been raw, hard, life giving, exciting, new, freeing and eye opening. I have always loved the arts but never tapped into it becuse I was following a crowd of people that are walking the wrong way, in my opinion. I was going further and further until I snapped out of it and got out of ywam. In ywam it was more about getting the lawn mowed than my family’s mental health therefore destroying what mental health we had. Working non stop and paying to work is so ass backwards it honestly hurts that I did that for 7 years… I feel like I wasted so much time being a part of ywam.
Back to art, when I started my transition I painted something that is dear to me and I can’t get over it. It open my eyes to my potential and gave me wings to fly in this art cloud. That’s really cool you know? Art is a really good way for me personally to channel my traumas into beautiful pieces of work that express what I’m feeling in the time. Art after transition started to become a method of healthy coping and being able to do it freely is a privilege. I am privileged that I get to do art when ever I’m having a really shitty memory/day.
Being a queer artist is hard and being a Trans woman in this society feels damn near impossible. Art helps me forget the pain and the shit even if it is only for a moment. Art is important and it is all around us. Freedom there is sweet freedom in the art sphere.
I have an etsy that I am selling my art on so if you are curious or interested please take a look. I only have three of the piece I have up right now but each are signed and numbered.
Thank you to everyone who reads this blog. Feel free to share it when ever because I know I’m not the only one with this kind of story. Here is the link for etsy: https://etsy.me/2XE0f5M