YWAM Pt. 2

January 1st, 2011 I came back to Tyler, TX to do my second installment into YWAM that would allow me to stay on staff. I showed up with everything I owned and began the lecture portion of the 5-month course. I remember the first morning like it was yesterday, the woman who I was showing … More YWAM Pt. 2

Emotional

Just a few honest thoughts from tonight… It’s my last night in Tyler, Tx and I am having all kinds of mixed emotions. I am happy because my life is going to be authentic and full of opportunity I have only ever dreamed about. I’ll be living full time as Sasha and be able to express … More Emotional

No More Jumping

My life has been one jump after another hoping that the dam would break and Sasha would be set free. I started jumping at 15 and I’ve written about my dad still being a hard-core drunk and my mom being passive aggressive. She just doesn’t stand up to him. When I was 15 I jumped … More No More Jumping

Limerick: Life Change

Moving out of the Bible Belt I’m not going to have to constantly feel like I melt I’m moving to the most affirming place in Texas I won’t have to deal with YWAM exes This is going to be the best I have ever felt

YWAM Pt. 1

My YWAM experience is going to be split up into 4 parts, I was there for 7 years and I have so much to say. I was hurt, I was spiritually abused, and I was treated like a project from day one. Here are the first 5 months. The story starts with a text too … More YWAM Pt. 1

Honest/Truth

I have been attracted to men my whole like. I am not going to sugar-coat the fact that I have always wanted to be the “woman” in the bedroom and allow my man to let out his “manness.” I have never enjoyed having intercourse being the “man” it has never pleased me ever since I … More Honest/Truth

Untitled

After I wrote the Hurt post I started looking at quotes on Pinterest and even though I am still very much full of pain these quotes are helping me finish the day strong. I hope these help someone else who might be going through a hard time and just need some encouragement.♥ “And from the chaos of … More Untitled

Hurt

…Then the grief hit like a freight train going a million miles an hour hitting me right in the tear ducts… Nasty bawling my eyes out, snot dripping from my nasals, and extreme waves of anxiety. It all hit me with one blow after another I’m just going to be the child support parent and … More Hurt

Beauty Pt. 2

A huge shout out to those people who affirm and can love me for who I am, you all are beautiful humans and I am full of hope for my life because of you. Thank you! The beauty and love that comes out of all of you is authentic, raw, and overwhelming. I can’t even … More Beauty Pt. 2

Beauty Pt. 1

Inner beauty and how I am finding it. My entire life up till recently I hated looking at myself in the mirror and would just look to trim my beard. I  then would move on with life being so disgusted with my body and how it did not match the inside at all. I hated having to … More Beauty Pt. 1

Pain

Pain How I loath you Depression How I curse you Anxiety How dare you Get the fuck out of my head Go fuck up a cockroaches day Motherfuckers I don’t have time for you I’m done with the dread I’m just a wondering soul Trying to find the balance Pain, depression, and anxiety What gives … More Pain

Dear pro-lifer…

Try walking your talk please, I’m sick and tired of the photo-shopped Christianity the evangelicals produce. Can you (conservative evangelicals) stop and take a second to evaluate your self before you come upon the LGBTQ community, blacks, and all other minorities like a shotgun to a knife fight? Will you at least show a little … More Dear pro-lifer…

Favorite Album

Evil Empire is the second album from the Rage Against the Machine catalog dropping on April 16th, 1996 and got its name from the Ronald Reagan era in reference to the Soviet Union.  Evil Empire got to number one on Billboard top 200 and by 2000 it was already certified platinum 3x. The genre is rap metal … More Favorite Album

Favorite Artist

Zack Dela Rocha from “Rage Against the Machine” was born on January 12th, 1970 and wrote most of the lyrics for “RATM.” He was the lead vocalist and very vital to “RATM” as he is a strong voice against the injustices to humans. His rage in the lyrics he writes is beautiful but also very … More Favorite Artist

Favorite Drink

Coffee was found more like stumbled upon in the 15th century in Yemen and would be brewed and roasted similar to how it is today but they didn’t have a Keurig so it wasn’t quick like today. They had to wait for the fire to get hot and put the pot on and wait for the beans … More Favorite Drink

Favorite Food

Crawfish that sweet cajun mudbug that tastes so good and sends your taste buds into outer space. Well, for me anyway. Crawfish dwell on the bottom of swamps, creeks, and streams.  These bottom dwellers look like mini lobsters but they taste better and are a bit easier to eat. The first time I ever ate them … More Favorite Food

Lighten the mood

The last few posts have been heavy because I am under some pretty heavy pressure right now as you can probably tell. So, I wanted to share a list of upcoming posts I’ll be doing as life allows them to happen. Music post: My favorite album of all time and why. Dear pro-life post: In a respectful way … More Lighten the mood

Gender Dysphoria

TW: Suicide attempts, cutting, self-hatred, cussing, and intense depression. I have not attempted suicide any time recently and I do not plan on it! PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION. . . . . I have hated the way my body looks since I was 8 and the amount of pain I felt whenever my picture would … More Gender Dysphoria