Tw: suicidal thoughts, lots of cussing, Trump talk (yes trump talk needs a fucking trigger warning), just a giant fucking mess. Also before you call the fucking cops talk to me first. Seriously
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The only reason I’m still alive and choosing to live is because of the kids and Amy and Alice. Nothing else right now because i got nothing else. People leave, Ywam friends i thought i had turned out fake as fuck and I’m over hear dealing with all my shit while others go and live their fucking lives. I rarely get to see the kids because of finances and i don’t know how much more of this i can take.
I’m tired of getting handed shit and told to make it look beautiful im fucking tired of this. Never knowing what my day will look like or even if it will be the day i end it. Ending it seems inevitable and that is scary as fuck. I know i tend to blow shit out of proportion but fuck today.
It’s hard killing the parts that caused the trauma because i have a bit of Stockholm syndrome and i just can’t seem to get away from the pain and the trauma and the fact Christians still think trump was sent by God… What the fucking fuck Batman? If trump was sent by God I’m pretty sure it would look different. Social justice would be a thing that is accepted not demonized but the fascist in charge of this nation is making this nation a 3rd world country. If you are white cis and male you are safe. This is a lot like what Hitler fucking did… Go back and read the history books i beg all of you.
If you don’t see the correlation between Hitler and trump you aren’t fucking paying attention and it’s time to get off your asses and actually advocate. Christians that’s you ywamers come on seriously get off your asses and fight for social justice.
Was i the only mother fucking person there that actually saw the importance of social justice?
