Let me sit in the passenger seat just for one hour, I’m tired I need a break from this.
Let me enjoy my life for just one hour without the fear of being judged.
Let me shut my eyes calmly to the sound of a peaceful stream while the birds chirp in the distance.
Anxiety, you are exhausting and destroying my body. My nails are chipped, my heart is shredded, my lips are chapped, my body is destroyed all because of you, anxiety.
The moment my co-worker who by the way is my favorite co-worker started having seizures this morning I broke and I honestly don’t know how I was able to carry on behind a register. She got rushed to the emergency room and I was expected to be on point the rest of the morning. Was an extremely shitty way to start my day especially after the week and a half I had prior.
I had a roommate who was involved in shady shit and was being very shitty to all the rest of my roommates and me. She caused such a huge trigger and I have had anxiety tension headaches every night. They have been so bad that I have sobbed myself to sleep every night and woken up in a huge fog.
Another thing that has happened the last few days has been my manager yelling at a black woman because she was charging her phone on store electricity. He yelled to start out and told her she can’t change her phone she yelled back and asked for his name. He wouldn’t give it to her so I yelled out, “ Bobby you are being extremely racist I have seen you let white people charge no problem. He yelled at me and said shut up just go have a cigarette get out of here. It was nasty.
However, the last few nights have been better. Last night I was 1/4 my self and able to enjoy an evening somewhat. Tonight I was able to take a night off and go vent out all my shit. I have been drinking a lot of Dr. Pepper lately it was nice to enjoy a nice glass of unsweetened tea that by the end of the night turned sweet. Being able to vent with fellow queerdo’s felt amazing. Chosen family is vital to survive in this insane world. Chosen family is FAMILY!