Anger to Sadness to Grief

When life throws you sweet treats, take them and savor them till the very last taste. 

It’s been a wild few weeks of figuring out what life will look at for the next few months and I haven’t had time to write a sentence down. I’ve got a lot to say, I’ve got anger, I’ve got happiness, I’m sad, I’m in great lament, and I am thankful. 

I’m going to start from the beginning since I started working at 7/11 about 2 weeks ago I have excelled greatly at the job and have been told I’ll be getting a solid raise on my official 90-day review. Pretty exciting. My manager is trans-friendly and extremely nice, also looks a bit like Walter White from Breaking Bad. I love my hours because they work so well with my other job, working 12+ hours a day is exhausting but I have never felt more alive or happy in my life! Well, when it comes to work-life anyway. 

My other job working with a woman who has cerebral palsy has been incredible but also triggering. She is an activist for disability rights along with trans rights and hearing stories about what she has gone through and going through at this very moment makes my heart hurt. She is one of the sweetest, kindest, and genuine human beings I have ever met in my life and the fact I got connected with her the moment I showed up in Austen, TX is still crazy to me. Right now is a very hard time for her because the state keeps making pretty serious mistakes that are causing her more stress than she needs. But, our friendship grows every single time we see each other and even though it is rough we help build each other up the best we know how. 

Away from the jobs, I am going the share some pretty strong opinions on a few things. I’m mad well beyond livid actually… I can’t stand the people in the Oval Office at all. There is no atom of respect for them at all. How are we here? How are we living in modern day Nazi Germany in 2018? Why are POC kids being taken away from families and never heard from again? Where is the “pro-life” church? Where are those who say, “love the poor and the widow give them hope and help, bring them in and love them.” What happened to lend a hand? What happened to bear the rain? Try walking you talk or get the fuck out of the way, I’m done with you, done with your god, and done with your bible. The god you serve and express is a nasty sadistic fuck that I never want to have a part of ever again.

As you can tell I am upset but the same time, I am learning how to turn the anger into sadness and grief. I used to just be angry inside my head and anyone who would talk to me I would just be a closed off human. Humans are EMOTIONAL it is ok to express emotion if you don’t anger is going to ruin your life like it almost did mine.


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