I have been attracted to men my whole like. I am not going to sugar-coat the fact that I have always wanted to be the “woman” in the bedroom and allow my man to let out his “manness.” I have never enjoyed having intercourse being the “man” it has never pleased me ever since I started doing it. I’m not dominating and I’m not really down with penetrating since I’ve always wanted to be the one penetrated. I say all of that not to be over-sexual or even give you visuals, I say all of that because I have never been attracted to women. It has been a form of medicating myself from being told that a transgender person has a disease and they need to be cured. I have tried so damn hard to enjoy sex with females but, I can’t. It is just uncomfortable and awkward. I need a man in my life who won’t cast shame, won’t send dick picks the first conversation, and will be able to see me as an authentic woman. I’m so scared of the shame though.
My dream man looks like this; 6’3, Brown eyes, black hair, 170 lbs, built, a feminist, a Trump hater, smart, a businessman that travels, funny, real, and smart. I need a taller man than me because I DO NOT want to be taller than him so he can hold me. I love brown dark eyes and think they are handsome. Black hair because that means he has class and isn’t afraid to stick up for his woman. 170 lbs because I want muscles to marvel at and a man who can get the heavy things done. A feminist who values women because women deserve to be valued and fought for. You heard of “Pink tax” yeah women should not have to pay extra for a razor… He has to hate Trump and can’t be a supporter if he supports Trump or Christians that support Trump, that man isn’t for me. A man who travels and isn’t afraid to let me tag along and is able to show me around as he is going to meetings and doing his thing. Funny, real, and smart are key he just needs to be authentic and that is my dream man.
I dream about him every night as I’m about to sleep and here is the dream:
I’m in the middle of my transition and HE shows up one night while I’m out just enjoying the warm spring evening and he comes over to me and says, “hey beautiful girl” I blush and say, “hey handsome” we talk a little more and leave. A few nights pass and then I see him again just walking around in New York (I am living in New York as a fashion designer) and he sees me smiles and walks over to me. He asks, “what’s your name beautiful” “Sasha what’s yours?” (Don’t know his name yet) and so we look at each other for what seems like 5 minutes but was only 5 seconds and he says hey you free right now I wanna show you something? I say sure and we go to Central Park and walk around the rest of the day. I’m falling for him he is falling for me and we just keep going on walks until one day we go get dinner and he asks me what my goals are.
I tell him I’m a fashion designer and my biggest goal is to travel all over Europe with my fashion line of transgender clothes and he looks at me says oh wow that’s amazing! Are you THE SASHA? I say yep that’s me, sweetie. (((Smile))) he then says so you married? I tell him about my life story and we fall in love. He works in a business that allows him to travel and he mainly travels to Switzerland as an entrepreneur in the arts has a loft full of art and music and knows how to treat a lady. We continue hanging out and about a year into our relationship his proposes and we get married 3 months later.
After we are married he opens up the door wide for me to start bringing my transgender clothing line to Switzerland and he wants to be a huge part of it. We are in love we are married and we are each living our dreams and truth. It’s amazing! We grow old together and continue just loving each other as the humans we are.