Dear mom, dear Dad…
From the bottom of my heart I just want to say thank you for trying your best in raising us kids, having two of my own I know how hard it is and mine are only toddlers still. I also want to give you a heads up what I’m about to say is going to catch you off guard and may make you very upset, angry, sad, and confused. I am going to try and articulate it the best I know how and be as respectful as possible. Please, if you become angry and want to call in your anger don’t. I don’t need that right now and your daughter in law doesn’t need that either. We are going through a hard time and we just don’t need over spiritualization cast on us as we are going through a lot of changes and having to figure this whole thing out.
Ok, first off Mom, Dad starting at the age of 8 I would wear moms clothes while you guys where away because they felt good I felt whole and would be happy until I had to take it all off because I knew someone was about to be home. That bugged me because I never felt good in my skin, I have never seen myself as a male, and every time I’d dress up I would become emotional to the point of tears because I knew I’d never be able to come out to you guys. Mom, remember that time you found my hidden stash and I told you that my friend gave it to me? Well that was a lie it was your stuff and when you took it and yelled at me I became very closed off and distant. I continued to dress up after that and promised to take it to my grave I was just going to die with it and be miserable the rest of my life. Which I was till about a month and a half ago.
I came out to your daughter in law and opened up about being a transgender woman and how I have never felt comfortable in my body not even one day. She asked a lot of questions I answered and it turned out being one of the greatest conversations we have ever had just open and raw. I would wear her clothes anytime she was gone and map out the specifics every time and the amount of time I had. I became very angry because I wanted to tell her for so long but I just couldn’t. It was too hard because after that conversation at age 8 mom I felt so much shame and guilt I never wanted to feel that again. So, after we talked and after a few weeks went by we decided we are going to get a divorce because with me transitioning into a woman and her not being a lesbian we both feel like it’s time to move on.
I will still be very much a part of the kids lives and her life it’s just going to look different. That’s why the job is so important because I need something to get myself on my feet along with paying for child care. I’ll be paying for child care along with moving out as soon as I have the funds to do so, which should only take a few months of working. The reason for moving out is because your daughter in law doesn’t want to be have to hold the grief in she needs space to allow her self time to heal. She will still love me and be my best friend but we won’t be married anymore.
If you want to disown me because of this that is on you guys, I’m still willing to be apart of your family, in fact I would love that I just know this is huge and heartbreaking. I’m not sorry though, living in the shadows was painful and I am glad I’m free to be me finally. Again please don’t call me and tell me I’m going to hell or call in anger, allow yourselves time to process and communicate with me in a rational way.
I love you guys and I hope you can still find somewhere in your broken hearts to love me no matter what.
Signed your transgender daughter, Sasha Adele Braden